Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Greenbelt Doofus

If Charles Darwin is right about that "Law of Natural Selection" thing - you know, where the dumbest and weakest of the species don't survive long enough to contribute to the gene pool - I saw a guy who probably won't last too much longer. And with a little luck, won't reproduce.

He looked to be 17 or 18, I'd guess. He was on the Greenbelt, with a couple buddies:
- riding a 20-inch "BMX" type bike that was way too small for him,
- riding on the wrong side of the pathway,
- chain squeeeek-squeeek-squeeeeking as though it hadn't been oiled since the bike left Wal-Mart,
- smoking a cigarette (one hand),
- yammerin' on his cell phone (other hand),
- (obviously) riding without any hands on the bars.

Any one of those things would make me question his judgment, if not his intelligence. All six? Yeah, he probably won't make it.

(You see that BMX thing a lot among the adolescent kids. Looking back, I s'pose I had a "Sting Ray" bike when a larger one would've fit better... but one significant difference is that the seat was high enough on the Sting Ray so that I wasn't bumpin' my chin with my knees, each time I pedaled. It can't be very enjoyable to ride that way, for any distance.)


Anonymous said...

Last night, leaving work, I witnessed the following: passing by my office on Orchard St (a reasonably busy one) at 6:15pm, it was dark and foggy. A doofus on a bike was riding on the sidewalk, on the wrong side, with both hands in his pockets, and with no lights whatsoever.

I silently wished him good luck.

Anonymous said...

Bikeboy, I can't decide which is worse. The person you described or those who ride on the Greenbelt as if they were competing in a time trial.

When both types of riders meet the results could be unpleasant.