Tour de Fat returns to Boise

If you're anywhere near the "city of trees" (yeah, that's what they insist on calling it), our fair community will be hosting New Belgium's Tour de Fat this Saturday, August 18. "The Bike Parade begins at 10 am at the Fountain in Ann Morrison Park, but be there early to register."

If you've not participated in the Tour before, it's sort of a combination of Woodstock revelry, Rube Goldberg inventiveness, and bicycle evangelism. There's always an awesome parade, in which all types of bicycles and bicycle-like contraptions are ridden. The partying continues all day; the "Finale" is at 3:30pm. At each tour stop, they award a custom cruiser-style bicycle to somebody who pledges to hang up the car keys and ride the bike for a year.

Last year school teacher Matt Monette, apparently in a moment of bicycle fervor, agreed to give up his car and ride a bike. Boise Weekly did an interesting profile of him a few months ago - read it HERE. I can't help but wish they'd pick me... but I'm sure it's more about finding a new convert, than "preachin' to the choir." I wouldn't be able to give up my car - I did that 27 years ago.

Although New Belgium suds are consumed in massive quantities at the Tour, the vibe is always peaceful and family-friendly, from what I've observed. I've taken my granddaughter in the past, and we've had a fine time... much to my chagrin, I have an out-of-town commitment this weekend, so I won't be there.

It's actually a pretty big deal that the Tour always comes through Boise... there are only 15 stops, and most are in cities much larger than Boise: Nashville, Atlanta, Chicago, Denver, Los Angeles, San Francisco... the only explanation is that we have enough "bike culture" to support such an event in appropriate fashion.

Legal and Ethical Transportation

A recent editorial on the NY Times Website discusses legal and "ethical" cycling. The author, Randy Cohen, confesses to being a rule-breaking cyclist, a violator of the come-to-a-full-stop laws because "uninterrupted motion, gliding silently and swiftly, is a joy." (Uninterrupted motion - that's something that's maddeningly rare when you're driving an automobile in traffic.)

Cohen argues that even if his running of stop signs is illegal (and he mentions Idaho's exceptional bike-stop-sign law), it's ethical, because he's essentially only endangering himself. Particularly when compared with the motorist who doesn't come to a full stop but rather "blithely ambl[es] into the intersection against the light while texting and listening to your iPod and sipping a martini." Yeah, he exaggerates.

One of Cohen's strongest pieces of evidence is this disturbing statistic... in New York City in 2011, cyclists killed zero pedestrians and injured 26. Compared with drivers, who killed 43 pedestrians and injured 3,607. He also mentions that bicycles aren't "cars," which go 3 or 4 times as fast and weigh 200 times as much, nor are they "pedestrians."

He believes that the bikes-are-vehicles analogy fosters resentment when motorists see cyclists behaving differently. He mentions the attitudes in European cities where cyclists have their own extensive networks of dedicated facilities, and everyone of every age rides, and bicycles are a more ingrained part of the culture. That's all nice and dandy... but he hasn't convinced me that when we're sharing infrastructure with cars, we shouldn't behave as much like motorists as we can. (Although I'm grateful to be a beneficiary of that famous Idaho law.)

Replacement Bike

For a month or so, I've been meaning to report on my replacement bicycle.  And, I've got mixed emotions.

How did Mario Gutierrez feel when his ride, a horse named "I'll Have Another," went lame before leg 3 of the Triple Crown? Maybe that's a little how I felt when my beautiful Cannondale T1 bicycle came up lame.

In April, I was giving 'er a Saturday wash, when I noticed what I thought was a streak of oil. But it didn't wash off. And, upon closer inspection, I discovered that it was a tiny crack. Right where the seat tube meets the top tube.

When I first discovered it, I hoped it was just a crack in the paint. But it grew. And I noticed a near-identical crack on the other side.

I took it in to George's Cycles, the local Cannondale dealer. They immediately declared it defective, and said they'd get started arranging a replacement. But - it was complicated. First - Cannondale currently doesn't build a touring model. The closest thing would be a cyclocross-type frame. Second - Cannondale no longer manufactures any bikes in the USA; they moved it to Taiwan. Sign of the times! (Is there a mass-produced bicycle built in the USA any more? Far as I know, Cannondale was the last.)

The nice people at George's tried to find me an identical frame, hanging in the back of a warehouse someplace, but no such luck. So they moved toward getting a current-year frame; all the components would be swapped off the old bike, and onto the new one.

In the meantime, I rode. When the replacement frame arrived, I rode the old one in. They had it for just a couple days, and the new one was ready.

It's not as pretty as the white one... but it'll be much easier to keep clean-looking. It doesn't have the "Handmade in USA" decal. I'm guessing it's a pound or two lighter than the old one. And - the geometry is close enough that once I got it "dialed in," I can hardly tell I'm riding a different bike.

This is my fourth Cannondale... they've all been "bullet-proof" until that crack showed up. I'm going to assume it was just a freak thing, and I'll be riding the replacement bike for many, many trouble-free years. (I hope I wear out before it does!)

Plan 10 from Outer Space

While we're on the subject of movies...

Have you seen the movie "Plan 9 from Outer Space," written and directed by the legendary Ed Wood? It's on every movie critic's list of the worst movies ever made; I have it in my collection. (Part of the Ed Wood box set, which includes 3 or 4 other movies that are almost as bad.)

I've watched it a half-dozen times over the years, but still can't really describe the plot. It's science fiction... something about space aliens revitalizing the dead, and turning them into zombies. But you don't want to spend all your time trying to figure out the subtle nuances of the plot... because there are all the awesome props, special effects, etc. (Cardboard tombstones in a cemetery... supposedly at night, but you can see the cars whizzing by just behind the hedge... paper-plate flying saucers dangling by strings, etc.) It was the last movie Bela Lugosi was in; he died during the filming, so they hired a "double" who always holds his cape across his face... surely nobody will notice it's a different guy! It's so bad it's hilarious.

One of the many holes in the plot... the movie never properly explains how the space aliens communicate with the zombies.

I think I've figured it out!

When Wood made the movie in 1959, even a visionary such as himself couldn't foresee the day when smart-phone zombies would be clumsily lurching about, staring at the screens of their phones... perhaps waiting for instructions from their space-alien overlords! I propose a remake of "Plan 9," and all the zombies are clutching their "smart-phones."

(Why do they call 'em smart-phones, anyway? It's not because their users seem so smart, when they are smart-phoning!)

There's an article on the Deseret News website today, "What to do about protecting distracted pedestrians." It cites several examples of pedestrians who sustained serious injuries after walking over cliffs, into holes, etc., while staring at their phones. Emergency room visits by "distracted pedestrians" have quadrupled. "State and local officials are struggling to figure out how to respond, and in some cases asking how far government should go in trying to protect people from themselves."

Officials in the Salt Lake City area are concerned, because several people have recently walked right into the path of oncoming trains, while paying attention elsewhere.

Um... EXCUSE ME.

Why is it the government's job to protect people from themselves?

Distracted motorists routinely kill and maim innocent bystanders... it happens all the time! By contrast, the pathetic distracted pedestrians usually only put themselves at risk. Adults should have the freedom to weigh the potential benefits of an activity against the potential risks, and make a decision on whether they want to tolerate the risk. "I want to stare at my phone while I'm walking about. Yes, I might walk into an open manhole, or into the path of an oncoming train, but I'm willing to accept that risk." (By contrast, you have no right to say, "I want to text while driving. Yes, I might kill an innocent bystander, but I'm willing to assume that risk.")

The Terminator rides!

Since he hung up his governator's hat, Ahnuld Schwarzenegger has been gearing up to get back into the movie business, apparently.  And part of his fitness regimen is cycling, according to a story in the UK's Daily Mail. He turns 65 tomorrow (July 30).  One thing that's funny about the British press... they obsess about fashion.  Schwarzenegger "kept cool in a red martial arts t-shirt, black bicycle shorts, and brown boat shoes."

On the scale of 65-year-old guys, I'd say he looks pretty good. Cycling can only help.

The first two "Terminator" movies are favorites of mine.  And I just ordered the original "Total Recall," which has been given a new Blu-Ray treatment, apparently to coincide with the new "Total Recall."

Bike ride across America interrupted by crazed shooter

Stephen Barton and Ethan Rodriguez-Torrent are a couple of young fellas, recently graduated from college, with time and freedom. They decided to embark on the adventure of a lifetime - a bike ride across the Fruited Plain.

They departed from Virgina Beach, VA... and based on the news story and Ethan's blog, it sounds like they were taking the scenic route! Definitely not the straightest and quickest course. (And also unusual, I believe, because they were heading east-to-west. Most cross-country bike rides I've heard about begin on the west coast and move easterly. Tailwinds? I don't know.)

As fate would have it, they ended up at a friend's place in the Denver area on July 20th, where they would stay the night before heading into the mountains the next day. And their friend invited them to attend the premire midnight showing of the new Batman movie.

Tragically, we all know the next part of their story. As the movie unfolded, a disturbed individual crashed through the doors, heavily armed, and began indiscriminately shooting at the movie audience, killing 12 and wounding five times that many.

The story for Stephen and Ethan could've been much more tragic... the former, and their host, both sustained gunshot wounds but should recover. Ethan miraculously walked away unscathed.

Just three of uncounted lives that were interrupted, and forever changed, by the insane act of one individual. (And unfortunately, there have never been easy answers on how to protect innocents from totally-random and unprovoked criminal acts. You just pray that they'll be few and far between.)

Their family from back east picked 'em up in Denver, and drove 'em home. The trip will have to be completed at a future time.

"Maybe they would come back to Aurora next summer, depart from the theater itself and make their way to San Francisco, raising money along the way for shooting victims and their families. Maybe ."

I sure hope it works out that way.

Midsummer update

I feel bad for not posting to the ol' Bike Nazi more frequently over the past few weeks. It's partly because the cycling has been pretty routine, partly because other activities and obligations have been stealing my attention.

One significant development in my "personal" cycling... I have a new bike frame. My sweet Cannondale T1 touring bike developed a couple of stress fractures - the first problem I've had with a Cannondale frame in many years and miles - and they replaced it under the lifetime warranty. (I intend to post separately about this. Please stay tuned.)

Other notes:

The weather has been hot! (But as a long-time observer, I can say that happens quite regularly in these parts, in July.) We had 2 108-degree days; that's within 3 degrees of Boise's all-time high. I rode 20+ miles on both of those 108 days, but I was sweatin' like a New York waiter!

I replaced a rear tire. I took off my worn-out Vittoria Randonneur 700x32, and put on another one. The old tire had 3981 miles, with two flats. It remains my favorite-ever make/model of tire. (The front tire has been on even longer. It's starting to look a little raggedy, but it's probably got 6000 miles on it!)

The Tour de France is underway. If I had cable or satellite TV (and time to watch), I'd probably pay more attention. I believe the kid from the UK is wearing the yellow jersey and likely to take home the prize. (And of course, Lance Armstrong continues to be dogged by allegations of doping, years after his amazing run ended. They oughtta give the guy a rest! He NEVER failed a drug test during or after a race.)

Looks like the "forbidden" stretch of Greenbelt, behind Garden City's Riverside Village, will be on the ballot in November. The voters will declare whether it gets opened to cyclists, or continues to be off-limits. Too bad it's only Garden City voters who get to decide; people from all over the area benefit from having the Greenbelt available.

I continue to look forward to spending the better part of a week up in northern Idaho in September, riding the Coeur d'Alene Trail. "More than 71 miles of paved path takes you from high mountain splendor, through the historic Silver Valley, into the chain lakes region, along the shore of Lake Coeur d'Alene, over the Chatcolet Bridge to Heyburn State Park, and finally climbs to the Palouse prairie..." Sweeeeeet! (I've been wanting to do that for ten years... although my plans sometimes get derailed, I'm sure hoping THIS plan materializes!)

I've had more than the usual number of "off bike" days lately, due to being out of town. But if I keep those pedals turning, I'm still on track to hit 150,000 bike miles (since I started tracking, in 1986), right around the end of the year.

Miss Mackie and I continue to have some excellent buddy rides. I got a replacement white tire and tube at the Boise Bicycle Project - her front tire was getting pretty crumbly. She still likes to get a little push-start on her 20-inch bike, but once she's underway she's amazingly steady and competent for a five-year-old... and she sure enjoys it! Here are a couple photos from a week or so ago, moments after we rode through the cool sprinklers on a hot summer evening.

Ride on! Be safe!