Sometimes I think I'd like to be Johnny Oilcan... a generous and compassionate mythical bike rider who shares a shot of chain-lube with the needful masses.
What's with bike riders? There are MANY of them - granted, usually on their disposable $79 department store bikes, but not always - whose riding could be made SO MUCH more enjoyable with a 5-cent squirt of oil. (Even WD-40 in a pinch... but it evaporates too fast, so is NOT the ideal lubricant.) Sometimes they are beyond squeaking, and are almost making a chattering sound, they've become so dry and rusty over years of zero-maintenance.
Can't they hear it?!!? Maybe not - due to their iPods and that boom-de-boom that the kids all like to listen to. (Deafness might be a blessing... squeaky chains are akin to fingernails-on-the-chalkboard, for me.)
Maybe I oughtta get me an oilcan - fill it with 2/3 cheap motor oil and 1/3 thinner/solvent (WAY cheaper than the dedicated stuff that's $9 for a few CCs, and seems just as effective to me.) I could ride around with oilcan in tow, and when I hear somebody's squeaky chain as they approach, I could chase 'em down, brandishing my oilcan menacingly, and applying as needed.